once upon a time..

i've been there.
i've been in the situation where i was in love with a man,
and when i said "in love", i mean madly deeply in love with him.

and we had this so-called perfect relationship.
i mean, what could be more perfect than having your best friend as your lover?

it's the kind of relationship where you could speak with himm all night long,
because we never ran out of stories.
we talked, we laughed, we shared.

it's the kind of relationship where you looked at him, hoping to grow old together.
it's the kind of relationship where you could be your ownself, without worrying about your partner's thought.
it's the kind of relationship where even just the tought of losing him, killed you.

and he somewhat loving me the way that every girl wanted.
it's not about he granted all of my wishes by gifts after gifts, surprise after surprises.

it's more than that.

it's the way he smiled at me, the way he protected me, the way he loved me.

he's the one who loved to stay up late just to talk randomest shit ever with me.
he's the one who i told secrets to.
he's the one who let me look like crap without make up on and with the big old shirt but still caleed me beautiful.
he's the one who argued with my best friend about who loves me more.
he's the one who's biggest fear is losing me.
he's the one who made me as his world.

then i left, and he lost his world.

after all the chemistry between us, we finally found out that we just didn't work out.
yeaa.. we're adoring each other, but we're fighting against each other too.

we just couldn't handle the mess.

you know,
if only love is the only thing you need to keep the relationship lasts,
then me and him would be us forever.
but apparently, it didn't.

it's not about how much you love each other to make the relationship last,
it's about how well you compromise about each other mistake.
it's about how far you accept each other flaws.

and we missed it.

and after long battle, we gave up.
we gave up on what we've been through for almost 3,5years as partner + 4yrs as bestfriend.
we gave up on our dreams.
we gave up on "forever and always"
we gave up on each other.

it really was a beautiful experience,
and i must say that i regret nothing.

and i thank him for every moments he brought into my life.
those made me who i am today.
i'm sorry for all the broken promises and the failed wishes.
i sincerely hope all the happiness upon him.

and maybe, just maybe,
someday we could be best buddy again :)

i've read it somewhere :
people change, feeling change. it doesn't mean that the love once shared wasn't true and real. it simply just means that sometimes, when people grow, they grow apart.

so thank you,
i've a new journey waiting.